I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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