It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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