Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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