I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
