How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
is it fun? or sober?
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