Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
