Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
