Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
