That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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