I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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