is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am available for nakedness
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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