garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize