Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
