Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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