I'm lost and stupid without you.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
