Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize