Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize