My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
