Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
