I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
