I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
