Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize