I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
