he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
