me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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