I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize