hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
