What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
