I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
