Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
