i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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