Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Panties = found
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
