he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
