They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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