so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
