I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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