When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
