the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
