im gay
i know
yea but for you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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