The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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