If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
