i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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