i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
