kristin has been a bad kristin
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
