I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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