i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
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