she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
