so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
