I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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