I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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