I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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