I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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