Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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