I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
