If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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