sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
