Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
