the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
how drunk are you?
Several
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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