After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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