So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
