Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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