he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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